If you notice, you barely see close-ups of my face over here at Cakes And Styles. I get nervous when my photog friends would take close-up shots of me and in general shy away from it partly because this should be all about styling and not my face. But back in say 2017 earlier, if you scroll down my Instagram feed, you’ll see about one or few confident selfies popping up here and there. So what happened?
For the past two years, I’ve been struggling with persistent hormonal acne. It all started out as mild, normal breakouts around the lower chin area but later progressed into something cystic in nature particularly along the jawline. Much to the chagrin of my wallet, I went to skin treatment salons more often (availed several packages) and also tried the cheaper options from some friends but somehow I couldn’t get to the root of the problem.
It was only late last year (I know it took so long!) when I decided to up the game and FINALLY consult a derma about my dilemma who presented me with a detailed plan of attack to the problem. At the top of her list is another consultation with another doctor, I decided to skip it then since I was so eager to try one of their treatments, something that is highly-recommended to me by a good friend who has already tried it – the chemical peel.
Boy, I did raise my hopes on the blue peel procedure. When the peeling was over (1 week guys, ONE WEEK of tiis-ganda moments, lol!!!), I did see some improvements. BUT, it was obvious that it really didn’t get to the root cause of the problem. Skin tone got lighter, some acne were gone but there were some persistent scars and redness particularly on the left side of my face. So back we go to RC A.
Around January when I usually decide to do my regular health checks, I finally consulted my Gyne about a possible “condition” called PCOS. It’s a condition that’s extremely common among women my age. I was about to schedule for a laboratory procedure for diagnosis but I was shell-shocked when my OB pronounced right then and there that I was positive (She said she could just simply tell from my face). Though I was informed earlier that this isn’t exactly a “sickness”, I did hear some stories about acquaintances who had trouble getting pregnant because of this problem. Not that there’s a chance of me getting pregnant soon (*eyeroll*, lol). I was already feeling a bit relieved when I remembered my Derma telling me about pill treatment will clear the acnes when my Gyne suddenly dropped the bomb. She can’t risk me taking the pills for PCOS treatment because of the impact it will cause on my other “condition” - the cysts that are currently being monitored in my breasts. I briefly talked about it here. Her last words to me was to get back to her if ever I DO have some plans of getting pregnant in the near future coz that’s the only time we will take some course of action to address the issue (PCOS). WOW.
Since this post is strictly about my battle with hormonal acne, I’ll spare you all the drama one goes through upon finding out they have these “conditions” in their body. For now this is my CURSE. Lol. And I have to deal with it. Now on my third month of working with my Derma, she switched me up to a different kind of antibiotic to help lessen the flaring up of my “pets”. Lels. Of course, there are diet changes too (like less dairy, the occasional spot treatments and mild peeling sessions but ultimately, our last resort is another medication which has a success rate of 95% in treating the acnes but one that is yet to be carefully considered because of some risks that it entails. Obviously, there’s no winning yet in this battle so where am I going with all of this?
If there’s one thing my last treatment taught me though, that is to learn to be comfortable with my face without my trusty concealer/ BB creams and foundation. During the tiis-ganda days of facial shedding like a snake (lol!), I had to go out to work for a few days which meant risking my bare face to some of my co-workers (although most of them were in leave then due to the holidays, hehe). Once I got used to it, since January, you’ll barely see me with any foundation on. I simply leave the house with my face slathered on sunblock. Heck, I even went to a few dates without concealing my facial “scars”.
While it’s true that some of them never showed up again (lol!), but atleast I was pretty clear with my message that acne or not, I am enough. And if you’ve ever reached down this utterly long post and are also going through the same thing, tell yourself that YOU ARE ENOUGH. Granted, it can definitely make your self-esteem plummet when your skin is out of whack but at the end of the day, we all should realize how very little these matter in the grand scheme of things.
Since I stopped running Soooo Bloggin This!!! (my first ever blog), it just feels therapeutic to be writing some personal stuff again. Please wish me luck in dealing with this ordeal and would be eternally grateful if you could recommend some things that worked for you. Regular styling and outfit posts will be available soon. Thanks for reading. :)